emerrrgency induction port

nightshadewine:

when do you stop grieving for the life you thought you’d have? like, does that happen?

That feeling of someone I care about finding me disgusting and awful and poisonous gives me so much pain I want to curl up and disappear. I want to not exist anymore. I would rather be alone forever than experience more of that. And that’s exactly what I do; I curl up in my own little corner and don’t socialize out of terror that more of this will happen, because it does happen so often and I still never see it coming. [source]

this… but only this rn. all of this. avoid avoid avoid

shouldn’t be alone but need to be alone because i’ll upset people. need to talk to someone but won’t because i’m just making everything about me. i’m what’s wrong. and i can’t ask because it will kill me to know how much they find me disgusting and awful and poisonous. never tried to be toxic, just trying to be good… good enough… desperately want so much more than this world, trying so hard to *want* to live in the world at all, but everything is terrifying and painful and i will never shake the feeling that i don’t belong here or anywhere or with anyone.

i wish my brother had lived instead of me

bpdetrimental:

Wait, so you’re telling me not everyone is thinking constantly about how much of a failure they are, how they wish they could change their life completely, and how (no matter what) they will always be an outcast in any situation?

What a way to live.

accidentalslayer-deactivated202:

Do you ever get the sense that no matter where you go or what you do…you are not welcome? You will constantly be *outside*. You’ll always be clawing at the window of a warmly-lit house, watching everyone you love feast around a table full of sustenance while you’re starving for a crumb. And when they see you, they give you this pitiful look. Half-guilt, half-disgust as they slowly close the blinds.

You will always be a monster.

honeypleasejustkillme:

i just want to be held until i stop hurting. i want to feel safe, loved and protected. being alive hurts so much..

raventarnished:

I need what I can’t have

bassalien4444:

i wish i wasn’t so disposable

worthless-mess:

morbidcrow24:

I’m getting better! (I started sobbing uncontrollably instead of cutting myself)

honeypleasejustkillme:

mom can u come pick me up my brain is telling me no one wants me here

honeypleasejustkillme:

onlybecauseimhappy:

all i want is to go home, but i dont know where to find it

so-worthless-so-empty:

I don’t think I have a place that I belong

ttrust-no-one:

Alone in my room, wondering what went wrong.

a-hospital–for-souls:

I wish I wasn’t traumatized at the young age because now I can’t function like a normal human being. I’m scared of everything because I’m so scared of fucking things up. I don’t want to be me anymore

drifting-bones:

thinking you’re being overdramatic and paranoid over nothing only to be proven completely right is such a sickening feeling.